Today I learnt o during my daily trawl through Google News that Michael Jackson’s family are suing AEG Live for $26.5 billion for their alleged culpability in the singer’s death in June 2009. Shocked and saddened I think we need to take a moment…. Ok it may take a little longer, but lets start with a moment to consider personal responsibility.
Part of the 12Step programme is learning to take responsibility for your actions and the consequences. This is an important element that runs throughout the Anonymous fellowship; I know, I have attended Al-Anon for years and it’s a difficult lesson to learn. However, learn it we must if we are ever to have peace and calm in our lives. We cannot keep blaming others for our actions.
When we lose someone we love to addiction, do we blame the dealer or the addict? The alcoholic or the off licence/bartender? Come on now, I agree initially as anger is high we blame anyone and everyone, but when the chips are down there’s only one person who can do anything about it and that’s the addict/alcoholic. They are the ones who perpetuate their circumstance and they’re the one individual who can cease the madness and who can access the help (whether it be rehab, structured treatment, accessing the “rooms”), necessary to cease the deterioration of their disease.
We as family members, providing we too work the programme, can assist with the process; we cannot change anything other than our attitude to the situation, we cannot have an affect on the addiction, the addict or any aspect of their behaviour, however when we learn to detach with love and Let Go, we empower ourselves and the addict. We are no longer enabling and colluding. What will be, will be. I have experienced both sides of this coin – one where the addict tragically died, the other where they sought some help and managed to achieve and maintain sobriety.
Its devastating when we learn of another life lost to addiction, but lets get a little reality here, we can become addicted to anything, some are life threatening, some just ruin lives. What we can do is support and love. Blame? No, I don’t believe there is room for blame, not for the individual, their enabler, their family, not no one – well maybe our media who do like to throw a little discrimination and stigma around when discussing the topic of addiction. I however will not be blaming, not from where I’m sitting….